my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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