dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize