Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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