Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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