we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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