sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
