I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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