After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
