Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i dont even know how to be here
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
