But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
