Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize