Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
