How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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