2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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