so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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