office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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