Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
