Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
