imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
