Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
