Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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