Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize