how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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