Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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