yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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