I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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