We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
