did you get engaged???
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
