Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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