He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
