the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize