Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize