my mouth tastes like poor choices
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
