I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize