you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
