I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
