i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
