1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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