I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
