guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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