did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
