he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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