Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize