He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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