no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.