i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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