proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
