guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
