That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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