He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
