he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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