highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
