Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
