Texts From Last Night

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  (239): View more from Florida

  I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...

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  (239): I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby... http://tfl.nu/v25y
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work

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  (719): I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work http://tfl.nu/axgl
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.

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  (917): She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun. http://tfl.nu/sejn
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.

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  (252): I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME. http://tfl.nu/1mf6
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  (760): View more from California

  You did not just play the dead husband card again.

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  (760): You did not just play the dead husband card again. http://tfl.nu/xl50
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

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  (605): I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF? http://tfl.nu/tx7k
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.

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  (314): Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos? (217): I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd. http://tfl.nu/vu96
  Replies (14) Good night (3631) Bad night (1496)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done

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  (307): Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done http://tfl.nu/wa0d
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable

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  (802): Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable http://tfl.nu/50aw
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...

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  (803): Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone... http://tfl.nu/bgtw
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?

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  (405): Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream? http://tfl.nu/ecpk
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao

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  (423): On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao http://tfl.nu/dkfy
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?

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  (908): how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency? http://tfl.nu/6372
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  (310): View more from California

  I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable

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  (310): I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable http://tfl.nu/myt6
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road

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  (814): Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road http://tfl.nu/0xhz
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (130) Order T-Shirt

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