Ketchup is God's man juice
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?