now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it was like eating out sand paper
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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