I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
