If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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