: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize