and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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