i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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